Surfers, are you going after the right lady?

Earlier this week, I posted something about dating a surfer to help non-surfers realize what they’ll be in for if they choose to pursue a relationship with a surfer. Let’s face it, relationships with a surfer are definitely tough. By the same token, I believe that us surfers need to know what we’ll be in for if we decide to pursue a relationship with a non-surfer.

Uppers free surf in California by Adam Fricke Photography with a lady

Adam Fricke Photography

Here are a few things we surfers need to ask ourselves, before pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t surf.

Is your lady high maintenance?

If the answer to this is “yes” most surfers are immediately intrigued. It’s no secret that shiny things attract us, the glare on the water, pretty new surfer boards, and pretty ladies. However, we should be very cautious in a situation like this since our life could be forever changed. Forget about those days of not showering, when you’re dating someone that’s high maintenance, that’s bound to rub off on you.

Taking it a step further, I quote Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty “The more makeup a woman wears, the more she’s trying to hide. Makeup can hide a lot of evil.”

Does your lady actually love the beach?

As you probably saw in my post earlier this week, there’s numerous reasons and excuses why girls don’t love the beach. Yet they still say they love the beach when in all actuality, they love the idea of the beach. Make sure your lady actually loves the beach because if she doesn’t, your time at the beach will quickly diminish. For us surfers, trying to pull us away from the beach is like trying to take a Justin Beiber CD away from a middle school girl.

How does camping sound?

When the idea of sleeping under the stars or in your car at the beach tickles your fancy, it better sound like fun to your lady. We want to spend as much time with our lady as we can and we’re always inviting them to do stuff with us. That also includes camping (in a tent, the car, on the beach, etc.). If her idea of roughing it is sleeping at a three star hotel instead of a four or five star hotel, you better just end it earlier rather than later. While all of those camping scenarios sound great to you and I, some girls just aren’t into that stuff and not much is worse than going out surfing when your lady’s mad at you.

What about International travel?

There’s a time and place for everything, I believe. A surf trip with your buds, is not the time to bring your lady along. That’s completely fine and she needs to know that upfront and be cool with it. Letting her know that you two will have your own travel time and sticking to your word, should help her be cool with that too. While we’re on this topic, cover all your bases and bring up travel updates as well. We all know how spotty wifi and how expensive data roaming charges can be. Might as well make sure she’s good with not hearing from you for a few days on end.

It’d be great if your lady’s camera savvy

Almost every surfer I know wants to see pictures of themselves. If your lady’s got a camera, knows how to use it well, and loves the beach, there might be the beginnings of a beautiful relationship.

Can she be self-sufficient?

Let’s face it, we surfers aren’t really the type to cater to someone and be at their every beckoning call. When we surf, we’re gone for three or more hours. It makes absolutely no sense for us to be checking the beach all the time, looking for our lady friend to wave us in to go get a water or a snack for her. That’s ridiculous. Instead, make sure she’s good with you being gone for a few hours at a time. It’s the perfect way for her to get in some relaxing time by reading a book, listening to some music, or even sleeping under the sun.

I know what you’re probably thinking by now, surfers and non-surfers should¬†never¬†have an intimate relationship. That’s actually quite the contrary my friend. This is just me trying to be helpful by getting folks to realize and understand what others wants and needs are, specifically between surfers and non-surfers.

Personally, I’m in a relationship with someone who doesn’t surf and it’s working out great. Alison enjoys reading a book on the beach (I double checked) while I’m out surfing and doesn’t expect me to be there for her every moment of the day (Again, I checked). She’s also cool with infrequent “hey I’m alive” messages while I’m on my surf trips. Not to mention that she’s also the one that always talks about going camping.

Can surfers and non-surfers have a meaningful and working relationship? You betcha. You just have to find each other, not force it on someone else.

Disclaimer: I’m speaking to girls because it’s the easiest vernacular for me to use. This information can also be reversed and spoken towards guys as well. I’m also not a therapist or an expert in relationships, just a guy that’s learned a lot through observation and trial & error.

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