Throughout my 15 year surfing career (I use the term “career” very loosely here), I’ve heard it time and time again. A girl saying “I want to date a surfer!” All she sees is the tan, muscles, and laid back lifestyle, but little does she know what actually goes into dating a surfer. Last week, The Clymb posted something on their blog that was informative to us surfer boys when it comes to keeping a relationship, in addition to our relationship with the waves. That’s great and all, but there isn’t much out there to give the ladies a quick taste of what’s to come in dating a surfer.
Ladies, do you have what it takes to date a surfer?.
Want to go to the beach?
When a surfer says this to you, you’re probably thinking that he wants to take you to the beach, pack a picnic lunch, and walk on the beach with you for miles picking up shells. Wrong! This is what he’s saying “the waves are supposed to be pumping and I want to go surfing. Do you want to come and watch me surf? It’d also be cool if you took some pictures of me too.” I’m sure he’d love to spend time with you at the beach between sessions, but when the swell picks up again, your “hopeless romantic” is going to be charging back into the water with his board to catch some more waves.
One last thing on this subject. If he ever mentions Dawn Patrol, be ready to wake up around 4:00 a.m. so he can be in the water before the sun comes up.
Do you actually “love” the beach?
“I love the beach!” Ha! I’ve heard that one too many times before to actually believe that statement. That’s usually followed up with “except for that icky sand, it just gets everywhere.” I don’t get what’s wrong with the sand, Laird Hamilton has some sort of imitation sand for a floor in his house and that sounds ideal to me and most surfers. After that’s the “I just wish the sun wasn’t so bright or hot.” So you don’t like the sun–how about you try living in Ohio where the sun never shines and it’s always cold. One of my favorites is “and it’d be so much better if there wasn’t any wind.” It’d be a freakin’ oven if there wasn’t any wind! Last and certainly not least “the salt water just sticks to my skin and is annoying on the ride home.” Have you never thought about bringing some gallon jugs of fresh water to rinse off before the drive home?
If you’ve found yourself saying this quite a bit when you go to the beach, maybe the idea of loving the beach sounds great to you. And dating a surfer probably isn’t the best idea, since surfers practically live at the beach.
Can you entertain yourself?
So you made it past the first two criteria. You’re cool with waking up early and going to the beach to watch your cute little surfer boy “hang ten” and “shred the gnar.” You also actually love the beach. So let’s step it up a bit, watching your surfer boy do what he loves sounds like a great idea, right? Of course it does, but the real thing to ask yourself is “how does sitting alone for three or more hours sound to you?” That’s realistically what’s going to happen when you go to the beach to watch him surf. You’re surfer boy’s not going to catch a couple waves and then come in and see what you need. When the waves are pumping, he’ll be out there for at least three hours. It can get boring, so make sure you’re cool with the idea of sitting on the beach, reading, listening to music, sleeping, etc. for long periods of time.
How do frequent phone calls sound?
Frequent phone calls sound amazing, don’t they? Don’t be expecting that all the time from when you’re dating a surfer. When he’s home and that’s his style, that’s great. However, keep those frequent international surf trips in mind. International surf trips means no cell service and sometimes no internet. There’s been times when I couldn’t reach home for four days. When you need constant contact with a dude, start looking elsewhere.
You want to learn how to surf?
More than likely, your surfer boy’s going to be more than happy to teach you how to surf. Just keep in mind that you’re dating a surfer, not a miracle worker. Surfing’s a major learning process, so don’t expect to get up on your first time out on a board and don’t get mad at him when you don’t get it. Be ready to learn to surf whenever the swell allows you to learn. He won’t want to teach you in pounding shore break or a hurricane swell, those conditions might mess up that pretty face of yours. One of the most annoying things is when you get up for the first time and you act like you’re the Queen of Surfing. Be humble. If you had blast, tell him, but don’t go around telling everyone you turned left, then right, and shredded the wave, etc. etc. That just gets annoying.
Terrified of danger?
When you’re dating a surfer, you get to hear about all the stories. Typically, these stories involve some danger. You’re going to be the first to know about how we got wrecked on a huge wave and got beat up on the reef. Better yet, just wait until he tells you about the shark that surfaced three feet to his left. Just remember that when he tells you this stuff, he wants you to be concerned and make sure he’s OK, but it’s no point in trying to get him to stop surfing. That’s like asking a cow to stop eating grass.
Now ladies, don’t let these “rules” freak you out. If this all sounds like fun to you or at least doable, then you might be one of the few that can make a relationship work with a surfer boy. Know that it’s completely OK if none of this is you or sounds appealing to you, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Might I suggest setting your sights on a hipster, I hear coffee shops are a great place to meet those types of guys AND you might even be able to score yourselves one of those fancy drinks that I can’t pronounce.
Anything I should add to this list about dating a surfer?
Any rules apply to dating a (name your sport here)?
Disclaimer: This is meant to be some sort of a humorous manifesto of dating a surfer. These are only a few of the lessons learned and heard over the course of 15 years and should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m not singling women out either, these topics could easily be applied to men as well.